well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
