I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
