Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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