I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
