I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
