just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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