My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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