he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
