Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
