my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
