I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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