so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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