Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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