Already got asked if we're dating
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This is my gift to your gina
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
