it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He felt like a one man threesome
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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