I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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