Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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