I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
