just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
