This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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