I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
