i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
