After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
