Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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