I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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