Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
