Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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