He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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