my shit smells like andre
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
