You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
