so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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