im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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