my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
