please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
