Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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