wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
