She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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