How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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