btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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