After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
