We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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