i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
