I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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