you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
