she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
