Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize