we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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