So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
