Your face is a jimmy john
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
