.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
