One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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