a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
