I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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