She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
