I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
