some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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