his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
