I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
