I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
